Another Year is gone...

Hello and welcome back to my blog and my first lifestyle post. I usually upload on a Sunday, however with the new year ringing in tomorrow I deliberately chose to spend yesterday thinking and reviewing the events of 2018.

Simon and I have had a load of changes to our schedule; the biggest of course has been the investment in seeing as many and as different kinds of films as we can; what with cinematography being our favourite medium. A big reason for this blog is a kind of reflective and visual representation of my thoughts, which usually could be channelled into a personal journal, but with being a lefty, my handwriting is sub-par at best. The ability this blog gives me is an opportunity to keep safe my thoughts and if there's any mistakes or re-edits, I'm not needing to scratch anything out or tear out a page. Just a simple few pushes of the delete button and we're ready to roll. That paired with my ability to incorporate video and pictures as well led me to really challenge myself to get this up and running.

The blog itself was a resolution for the past few years as struggled with family life with both my own and Simon's had caused a high level of stress and depression to flare up rendering my a fairly volatile bomb. How I'll break this down is into chunks and hopefully I won't have bored you; or if you're only interested in a certain part can scroll to that section instead.

Work & Career

So 2018 saw the ending of and old job and the beginning of a new for both myself and Si. My relationship with my previous boss was turbulent and unfortunately resulted in me losing the battle as some people do have friends in high places and I found myself worked out of that role. Needless to say that was probably the best gift I could have been given, as I then found a new role mid year; which whilst has it's own challenges, has given me a confidence boost as well as a much deserved pay rise and some fantastic people to talk to and learn from. For 2019 my hopes are that the challenges I'm facing now will dissipate come end of Q1 and make the job more fun as well as closer to the original purpose of the role.

Si's own change in roles happened just a month before my own and this tied with purchasing a new home made getting a mortgage very dicey. However it was definitely a better move and whilst a pay cut happened, his mental health thanked us in the long run; as sometimes money can't fix things. The new role isn't exactly a match to the job description, but watching and listening to Si's determination to do his best and learn new skills has been incredibly inspiring. My hopes for the new year for him is either a better level of training opportunities or a job closer to home.

Family

So this has been the biggest bane of my existence for the last 6 years has been this topic of conversation as most of my friends would know. I'd have thought as I got older things would have become less complicated and maturity would have reared it's head; but my experiences have only progressively got worse! So on my in laws side of things it's been somewhat of a nightmare. Since Si's sister got married in October 17 we thought we'd been making steps moving forward; in particular with Si's parents and I was doing my best to understand Si's conflicted approach to his parents; however queue this year and Simone's disgusting and completely fabricated attack on myself and Si again to a popular Youtuber out of the blue that opened a series of old wounds you can not begin to fathom. His families attitude to remain neutral and despite hampering evidence continue to support his brothers attitude toward Si resulted in me cutting ties with them and now leaving all manner of connection to him alone. If 2018 has taught me anything it's that I need to deal with my family and he needs to deal with his,

Now this isn't too say my own family hasn't caused its own undue stress. My sister inevitably got engaged to her own partner and has note exactly been received well. Whilst I can sympathise with her partner; as I and he would technically be in similar boats (not exactly the same), our family is doing this to protect her from making a serious mistake. It's safe to say that whilst a family doesn't see every aspect of your relationship, they are able to see any toxic or worrying cracks that you, blinded by love, can not. At least in 2019 due to our choice to have a quiet festive period has allowed as to start the new year with little drama as possible and set the tone for new developments and hopefully repairing bridges long burnt down.

Home Life

This has had the best improvements of all the facets. This has seen us despite my flaky health, buy a new home. We were so excited to show this to my parents and whilst my sister beat us to the punch and purchased hers first, the property and it's location was quite impressive and a massive step up from a lot of the places we had been renting previously. It feels great to be living in the place where my partner grew up, however it does keep me slightly on edge that there are some less than friendly faces in the same little village; however I've yet to bump into any of them, so maybe not so small. Getting to wake up to silence and bird chirping is a breath of fresh air; and Pinterest has blown up with ideas on what to do with the place. When we're not at the cinema I've really enjoyed circling the shops to find trinkets to fill the place up with; however I'm hating the fact we can't touch the walls for a few more months as I really don't like the clinical white approach to the walls. I'm working hard to be patient and do one room at a time as per our home contract, but my god it's difficult with my ever changing mind and sales everywhere I look!

My own personal growth has been supported by my partner and whilst I worked really hard to improve his approach to friends and family was awfully challenging and made me realise it's not my responsibility to keep the dynamic with them alive as it was important for him to realise I can't put the work in for him. The has led to us meeting new people and him becoming closer with older friends; something I'm so very proud of him for.

We've looked at ways to better ourselves both physically and mentally, and enrolment into Yoga should help speed the wellness recovery for us spiritually. Si is talking about doing DDP Yoga which is where I turned off; tai chi or basic Yoga is more down my alley, so if anyone knows where to do it, or better yet goes; please take him! 2019 will hopefully be the year of more travel, but also a balance of saving as there's additions to the family to be made, that sadly cost money.

2019 is hopefully the year we implement tech-free Sunday (except to obviously upload my blog) and will allow me to pick up my love for reading again as well as hopefully learn a new language; what with the threat of Brexit come March 2019. Whilst I hope it's a farce and doesn't come to fruition, should this happen a look into moving may be on the cards. So learning a new language will be key to leaving this land behind and finding a new home elsewhere.

All in all it's been a roller coaster of a year, filled with a flood of tears but also sprinkles of laughter, a lot of growth has happened and a lot of frustrations have been addressed. 2019 will be the year to further develop or learn new things as we as work on not rising to people's baits so often. To everyone I hope that you find the inner peace you crave and the 2019 is kinder to you as I hope it is to us. I look forward to updating this more often and giving me honest snapshots of life behind the smile and what it's really like to walk my shoes.

As always ciao for now!