The Bridal Shower Showdown: Tears and Tantrums

Having sat down and reviewed the year, I thought going back to this pivotal moment and to talk about it would help me get over some of the poison I've been holding onto. A Bridal Shower should be a joyous or at least a drunk affair; however with no drinkers on the day, this left space for only squabbles. ...

But let's start with the Weekend of the Bridal Shower which is where the festivities would start. We planned a spa day with an afternoon tea; however, because Lockdowns are still a thing (probably when you read this it's still the case), we had to alter the dates to be spread from a single day to 2 days. There was so much tension already as of 6 people - the majority of everyone didn't like someone. Sam had invited her mother-in-law and sister-in-law, my mother who disliked the in-laws and my half-sister who mutually hates me and I her. So organising something with limited contact but something that could be beneficial for all was hard. We eventually found a place to host the afternoon tea, which turns out to be where J.R.R Tolkien stayed - so an ode to my own wedding so many years ago. I ordered beauty items for each to go in their packs which I would give everyone plus a sash once we got to the afternoon tea.

Initially I would go down by myself to Birmingham and Fitzy would keep V, but with him being so young and still breastfeeding, he agreed to come along and chill in the hotel whilst I attended the festivities and then we could spend the evenings together. So we checked into the area of Edgbaston which was a mile from both venues and hunkered down for the evening. I needed to by at Bannatyne Spa for 09:00 as that's when the first treatments started; fortunately days before the event we were told facials were now allowed to be performed, much to the delight of the group. I ordered personalised spa slippers for everyone as towels, robes and slippers would not be provided anymore, so arrived 10 minutes before the first treatment which should have been my mom and her daughter; however once in the car, received a call from my mom saying she was running late - no surprise there, anyone who has had the misfortune or inviting our family will know timekeeping is not a forte of ours and made an offhanded comment about knowing why she was running late. This resulted in the daughter swearing at me and blowing off- clearly feeling guilty about it; and rather than sitting down to explain I wasn't on about her hung up the phone and broke down in tears. The Bride arrived and I explained what had happened and how I didn't want to attend the afternoon tea the next day as I really couldn't bear to be in the same room as her. The Bride voiced her own issues with the daughter and basically said she was near a breakdown so to try work through this stress. We were all forced to wear masks; according to Bannatyne policy the CEO doesn't care if you have an exemption or disability- everyone has to wear one, so we made an agreement to wear masks in communal areas which wouldn't be for long periods.

Sam's in-laws had to go first due to this hiccup so Sam and I made our way to the pool and jacuzzi area and had a chin wag about treatments and honeymoon plans; which would now be postponed until 2021. One thing I liked about the day was you could change the treatment on the day so up until you got into the room you could change your mind. We both jumped into the pool and floated a while until my mom and her daughter arrived - being the b*tch she was ignored everyone and jumped into the pool and started to do laps. Mom hopped into the pool with us and then said that the daughter wasn't the reason for them being late- which I then explained if she'd listened I never blamed her she just jumped to conclusions and I had no interest in trying to patch things up with such a horrible person.

Eventually it was our turn for treatments and I settled on just a leg treatment and mini facial because abosolutely nobody is allowed to touch my shoulders and my skin didn't look terrible considering I was getting rid of post-partum hormones. Sam got the rough lady whilst mine was pretty soft and gentle which I really didn't mind; because who really likes being poked and proded am I right? What seemed like minutes eventually our treatment was over and we made our way back to the pool area. The in laws were nowhere to be seen and mom had gone in for her treatment now so we went back into the pool for a few minutes then decided to get washed up and wait for the rest of the bridal party to catch up.

After thinking that the in-laws had ditched us we found them in the waiting room and felt so bad for taking so long so found some couches that overlooked the river and waited for our mom to join us. Eventually we were all reunited and now that it started to rain the plan to go for mocktails was a bit of a washout and we all agreed to meet up the following day for the afternoon tea and continue celebrating then. I offered to go out with the bride and groom for a double date instead as the groom wasn't able to have a stag do. Mom initially agreed to join us, but instead took V and just the 4 of us went and I would go to collect him after our meal.

It worked out for the best as we all sat and had a good giggle and laugh and all the stress of the day just melted away. We pecked at the food and enjoyed our refillable drinks, you'd almost have forgotten there were restrictions in place and by 8pm we were on our way to collect V. We finally made our way back to the hotel and busted out the PS on the ridiculously small tv to play Civilisation 6 until V could fall asleep.

Sunday Morning, I'd convinced myself we would just head straight back, but I still had the goodie bags for everyone so would try get in before everyone else and made our way to the Plough & Harrow Hotel, and everyone had already arrived. Having not done my hair or put make up on I noticed everyone else hadn't made much effort either, but at least we'd all have sashes! I said I was dropping things off only to be told the daughter had decided to throw her own hissy fit and not attended, so Fitzy and V took her spot and we were all placed into a table in the middle of the room, as if the most important table in the whole hotel.

We had a mixture of coffee, hot chocolate and green teas; with a selection of patisserie and sandwiches; there really was something for everyone, and without the agitator there and V winning over all the ladies at the table, there was zero atmosphere, even between our mom and the in-laws.

What started as a upsetting weekend ended in smiles and laughter and set a great precedent for the wedding where everyone could be amenable and there would be very little chance of upset for the bride...or so we thought. But that story is for the next chapter of this blog, so keep your eyes peeled on here and on my YouTube account for the footage and story behind our trip to Cornwall and the merging of the Nels & Nelson-Bergs.

As always...

Ciao for Now!