From Nel to Nelson-Berg

Hello and welcome back to this 2 part series of my sister's wedding...

It finally happened, the first sibling has now tied the knot and much like my sister-in-laws wedding tears of sadness were shed. With the lockdown still happening, and with the early arrival of V; and the host of problems over the last 3 months, and a not so great bridal shower, our actual attendance was very dubious. Had the accommodation been refundable, Fitzy was adament we would not have gone. We received a WhatsApp on the Sunday evening having arrived back a several hours prior from my mother informing us that she was receiving abuse and it was my fault now as the daughter had decided she would not be attending the wedding and would be staying at home which was causing bigger issues with her husband as he and she were meant to be doing activities together, whilst my mother relaxed and we would eventually see her so she could spend time with V. This pattern of behaviour is so common of putting the blame on my shoulders and expecting me to fold. Having gone though years of real abuse at the hands of her and her father I refuse to grovel and beg, especially when she hasn't even bothered to acknowledge her "nephew", - my mother even held the physical baby in front of her face and she pushed aside and stormed upstairs a month or so ago back.

So naturally I was upset again, and began triggering a mental episode on my side, Fitzy was in a rage because it had been some time since he'd seen me this upset; but I thought we were only down for a few days and could do a bit of sightseeing whilst we're down there. I made it clear we would not be allowing V over to their place, and had to then go onto a Skype with my aunt to be lectured about how family need to stick together.

The day we were supposed to go down finally arrived and we bundled up all into the car for the very long drive. We follow the waking pattern of V, so woke up a bit earlier than intended and started the journey down. Since having had a meltdown in the car and forcing an emergency park driving on my own once, we don't tend to have V in the back by himself, so Fitzy squeezed himself into the back and away we went.

We made pretty good time and only made a few stops. I also had the opportunity to improve my geography and learned you have to go through Devon to get to Cornwall! Who knew right? But we passed through several places the first being Birmingham which was our first major stop, then through to Bristol and then Devon. I was praying Cornwall wouldn't be too far away eventhough our check in was only at 4pm.

Around 2pm we stopped for lunch and ate some meat that we had Braai'd the day before, whilst V got his milk top up. The weather had started clearing up, once we had hit Bristol horrific fog and rain began to follow us; prophetic fallacy or ominous much? However, as we entered the county of Cornwall, the clouds began to lift and the seaside became a beautiful and welcomed sight after such a long time. We passed through Lizard Point and made our way through to St Ives.

We arrived around 3pm at the Holiday Park and although I had the gold package - you needed Platinum to check in at 3, so off to Tesco we went as we'd chosen self-catering lodging. I'd never really been interested in visting the south and the furtherest South I'd been was Hertfordshire and Colchester, but found I preferred the North. Cornwall was just amazing, our first encounter was in 2017 for our anniversary where we'd got horrendously drunk and Fitzy had unintentionally sent some rather mean texts to someone. This time we had access to a car, so the beauty of Cornwall was at our fingertips. St Ives is a very small place and so close to Penzance which is across the water from Marazion; our favourite place. We picked up some ribs and some snacks and drinks and made our way back into check-in.

How horrific! I thought we'd booked into one of the long Static Caravans, but turned out to be one of the granny lodges on the other side...I honestly would have preferred to sleep under the lodge! The one time I was prepared to sleep in a caravan and I'd booked the wrong thing, so couldn't even blame Fitzy for this mess up. He didn't mind it too much, and V was so small he didn't care and just wanted to be out of the car. You can see the lodge in the video below.

Fitzy reminded me that this was just to lay our heads down, but I chose to spend the full stay sleeping on the couch; in case an ax murderer tried to break in! Plus we had some semblance of a tv so I could listen to that whilst waiting for V to fall asleep. The rain continued to hammer down so luckily we were stationed in for the night and prayed the Saturday's weather would be better.

We awoke the next morning and the Gods had heard our prayers...although we were barraged with a wind by the time we got to Lizard Cove, rookie mistake for someone who grew up by the seaside! And of course we weren't dressed for the occasion, me in my infamous Maxi-dresses (do I even own anything else?) and Fitzy didn't remember a jacket, but we made sure baby V had was swaddled to the max and like noobs, weere pushing a pram around a very rocky cove. Award for the idiot parents of the year goes to...

We dropped into the gift shop and picked up a much needed fridge magnet to commemorate our trip. Fitzy had a chat with the owner and people said please keep an eye on the baby in the heat, like I'd never grown up by the sea and understood the impact of the sun rays between the hours of 10:00-14:00.... so politely smiled and said thank you. We sadly didn't stop for afternoon tea, with Covid, we refused to sit down and use Track and Trace so made our way back to the lodgings to prepare for the rehearsal dinner with the couple.

The weather took a terrible turn and V's mood turned sour, by the time we were supposed to be at dinner I'd been racing around town to find pain relief for the poor boy who had started teething already and wouldn't settle down. So off to the Fish and Chip shop we went. Becks has a pretty good reputation and when I got back it felt like I was carrying Shamu back. Fitzy was very impressed with the fish, but I stuck to some chips as even by the sea, I won't eat the poor things.

We found some schlock to watch on the tv and back to back movies on Sci-fi were showing including Boom, talk about cheese. We fell asleep attempting to prepare for the next day, so got our outfits out and hung them up ready for the next day.

The big day arrived...I got fixated on Fitzy's hair and beard which desperately needed a haircut, the church was in Carbis Bay so we took a quick trip to penzance to give him a chop and mop....BIG mistake. Although he looked dapper afterwards, we had to draw cash...in a COVID economy and trying to get out of Penzance city centre is as horrid as Leeds and kept taking wrong turns, we were supposed to meet the bride at the B&B and all get the taxi together, she gave us the address and we tried to race there. Now on the way we were held up by cyclists, tourists having a leasurely Sunday drive and my personal favourite, 5 tractors holding everybody up! We got to the area bang on time, but on waze you just couldn't find the B&B, we tried calling the bride, the groom and the mother of the bride. no one was answering their phones, so we started to panic, we chose to try drive into the city centre and walk our way down.

We found a place right at the top of town where everyone was parking and it was on the tallest hill in the town. So me in high heels, V being carried by Fitzy now 15 minutes late to the wedding, teetering down a super steep hill. Finally at the church, we find my dad with Boudi, greeted with a "well you're early"...the bride was up the aisle and the ceremony had started...Absolutely...mortified. I'm the worst Maid of Honour ever. we quickly made our way into the church and into the pews, Fitzy was on the Nel side and I on the Nelson-berg side, completely the wrong way, we had no bouquet or boutonnières, just sat sombrely to the sight of..you guessed it...the daughter at the wedding! She caused all this drama and upset and rocked up anyway like the nasty person she is. I was completely dishovelled and incredibly angry, trying to keep my temper in check for the cameras; as this was being filmed. Once the kiss was exchanged I made my way to say hello to my mother and give V a reassuring kiss to overhear the daughter bad mouthing me to my cousin and saying that I need to apologise.

That was the last straw, I stormed out the church and waited outside to call a taxi to get back up the hill. Turns out my family were parked in a similar place and we booked a larager taxi so we could all go together. Turns out the policy on dogs had changed for the ceremony, and my dad was no longer able to attend the ceremony, not that he would have been overly upset as he wasn't keen on the marriage in the first place. Once back at the car we made our way to the Carbis Hotel Restaurant and waited for about 5 minutes. Luckily I called the bride to ask if we were in the right place as they should have been there already by now and she explained we werent and needed to head up further the beach.

The hotel itself was gorgeous and we were seated in a room that overlooked the seaside, where the bride will take pictures. Once sat down, my emotions overwhelmed me and I had to go to the bathroom. Upon arrival back into the room, the groom was super sweet and came to sit by me and ask if I was okay. I don't know what it is about other family member's weddings, but I always seem to be crying because of someone in attendance...clearly a overly sensitive sausage! The bride had got a chocolate fountain and in true Nel fashion had messed down her dress which brought a slight giggle to my face. My mom and her daughter arrived along with my cousin and we were all seated on one side of the room, with the grooms family on the other side.

Once everyone, including my fashionably late mom arrived, we sat down to our canapés of fish and chips, risotto balls and beef yorkshire puddings. Mains was a selection of Braai'd meat and salads, which had to be served up for us...because you know, Covid knows if you're not seated... Being a mom, I had a baby attached to me, so I couldn't see what the selection of food was. The lady brough back a heavy salad based plate, whilst my ever more drunk hubby had a flowing plate of meat. We were asked to take pictures, which I didn't want to do, but was strong armed into it and then the sun began to start setting and we were off to the beach to take pictures and video of the happy couple. I offered as Maid of Honour to actually do something and helped carry the train onto the beach. The bride refused to take her heels off as she doesn't like her height; so made the journey harder.

Following the bluestery weather I helped to raise the veil to get some killer shots, but soon grew bored and cold outside so made my way back up to the reception venue to see my boys and grab a peek at the wedding cake, before the bride and groom did their wedding dance and used the sparklers.

The cake had our favourite pets on it as well as the sea theme for the bride, with the typical romantic bride groom topper. As the sun finally set, the bride and groom performed their wedding dance to Iris- Goo Goo Dolls and people went outside for the sparkler ceremony. As our side of the family began to leave, we busted out the Bride or Groom card game and had some competitive fun with the Grooms family. I think we helped cement some resentments between the happy couple, but also found out how much they really knew about each other.

The entire atmospher completely changed once the daughter had left and any tension in the room faded. Personally I felt there were good and bad elements and similar to my day, things went wrong for the bride from not having the rings to also not having the bouquet. Our time in Cornwall was brief, but still a good taste in the mouth. Once the restrictions have lifted and V can walk, we will take him back and enjoy some fond memories from there...however I can't say I'm looking forward to that hellish drive...especially if he's a toddler by then!

Enjoy the footage from the day, and as always....

Ciao for now!

x